Maximus22's Journal

Maximus22's Journal

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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Maximus22's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, May 13th, 2003

12:06 pm

They're Herrrrreeee!!
Oh Journal!! Ok, so I totally got a new computer and like totally forgot about you!! How could I?!? Oh wait, please dont call the Journal Abuse Hotline on me, it was unintentional neglect, Id never hurt you baby, you know that, right? Cool;)

So lets see, my last entry was in September of last year. So what Im going to do is start from October of 2002 and give a BRIEF synopsis of my life since then. Ok so here wee wee go:

OCTOBER: This month was particularly interesting for me. I was a waiter since August at a Mexican restaurant in a nearby town. Yes, I said TOWN goddamnit and NO ,I didnt move to the stix! Anyway, so like these have GOT to be the most white-washed (no offense to my white friends!!!) Mexicans in America. I mean, they make Raquel Welch look proud of her heritage! Well anyway, the oldest sister owns the place. Shes had more plastic surgery then all of 90210 combined and has more staples in her head then a fuckin office supply store. Her daughter, Vicky, is a total snob cunt and is the manager. She has two kids, God help them and also a couple rich ex husbands. Her current victim is a white construction worker who speaks fluent Spanish. The owner's younger sister, who looks like she was attacked several times by a group of roving grizzly bears, is the Head Waitress (Ewww, ok, like calling a Secretary an Administrative Assistant! Riiight, bitch carries plates like the rest of us!!). Then theres the youngest sister of the owner, Patricia, who works as a waitress (surprise surprise) part time at the local country club. I guess she figured if she couldnt fuck or marry one, the least she could do was serve their meals. Then theres the owner's spoiled ass, whiney, bitchy, abstinent (and not by choice) unemployed son, Donald. He does Elvis Presley impersonations for a living and also does them at the restaurant. But really, theres nothing more annoying then seeing a Mexican guy imitate Elvis at a Mexican restaurant. Besides, he looks like Elvis when Elvis was fat, in the latter years. Hes gross. Oh wait, then theres the older sister's Daughter, Melinda. A spoiled little pain in the ass she is. Her fiance installed Brad Pitt's Air Conditioning and is a total Barney. Not only does she have a fiance, but she has a boyfriend too. Of course, to piss off her parents, he is hispanic, unemployed and prone to bursts of violence. Lets hear it for the boy!! The other sister, Patricia, has a duaghter too. Her daughter is fat and typical of overweight gay men and straight women:bitter, gossipy and always eats all of the appetizers. I cant stand ANY of them. Anywho, point being, they paid EVERYONE in the restaurant under the table. From the cooks to the fuckin bathroom boy, everyone got paid cash daily. As an added incentive, they threw in free chips and salsa. Woo hoo.So I ended up quitting in January of 2003. I was tired of the drama of working in a family owned establishment. Besides, I was gaining weight from getting free food and that was NOT cute. Lets see, well i also went to a really lame Halloween party. I was dressed up as the Best from Beauty and the Beast but for some reason everyone thouhgt I was fucking Chewbaca and that pissed the shit out of me! Irritation Central! So thats October:)

November: I met a married man, again. Only this time, he was 23 years old and with child. I didnt care still. Besides, it was supposed to be a Booty Call, not love. Shit happens. So we actually started talking toward the end of October but it got heavy in Nov.Thanksgiving came and went. Nothing different, oh wait, I did go to my father's house for Turkey Day. He was recently married to some black gorilla, aka Sherry. Anyway, she made Chitterlings (pronounced 'Chitlins') and the whole house smelled like boiled shit. I could have vomited. I think I did. My mother is Mexican and the worst she's boiled is cow tongue ( 'lengua' en espanol and it also happens to be my fave meat). So my step mammy is mad because I wont try the chitlins so I say that she might as well give me a baked diaper full of baby shit and add onion. She wasnt amused. This is an alcohol free house so after drinking about a tree's worth of apple cider, I left for home and my 12 pack of Corona. End Novemeber.

December: Things get hot and heavy with my married lover. We've now moved on to barebacking. Why are all bi guys bottoms?!? We dont buy one another Christmas gifts because thats a step short of saying that we are an item. I go to the company Christmas party, the first one theyve ever held and its at a pizza parlor. GHETTO! It was ok, even all the wetback cooks came and stared at us. It was fun hanging with the illegal alies (aliens)!!!Well, until one of them started breakdancing. Im not sure what MTV looks like in Mexico but this kid was one moon walk from being out of control!! It was entertaining to watch though, like the talking chihuahua in the Taco Bell commericals, annoying but endearing. An A+ for effort! I get drunk and tell Melinda about my affair with the married guy, who is friends with their family. Hell is fast approaching. Christmas came and went, nothing special, same ol shit. What child is this? Not mines.

January: My sister turned 22. Yay. January really fucking sucked. The shit hit the fan and Jake, my affair, well his wife found out about our little tryst so he calls me on my cell phone and denies even knowing who I am. What-the-fuck-ever. So we exchange threats, him and I, her and I, etc. I didnt confess to her though, even though I wanted to because I suspected him of cheating on ME with another guy anyhow. I kept my composure and denied all allegations involving myself and Jake in any matter of a sexual or intimate nature. She bought it. I hate him, he hates me. We both hate hate her. Such is life. Its cool though, he'll leave her for a man when hes 40 years old and she'll look back and remember me. January spanuary, ugh.

February: Ok so I turned 23, nothing special. Im unemployed and gained 3 pounds in one leg. I hate random fat deposits. February came and went, I dreaded Valentines Day because I didnt have a Valentine and I also didnt have enough money saved to send myself roses and chocolates. Fuck bank accounts being overdrawn! I am not pleased.

March:Ewww, what about it?!?! Lame! March was stupid and I dont even remember anything aside from some short, fat little fuck in the Sweet T Factory (candy store) pinching my arm for not wearing green. I smacked him in the forehead and he ran out of the store crying for his mom. Oh well, if mall security approaches me Ill say it was in self defense. The kid had at least 20 pounds on me! Marching on.....

April: We had a barbecue on Easter. I cooked everything, as usual. Ummm, hmmmm. Eww nothing else I guess! I mean, it was April afterall, nothing special.

May: Up until today, nothing. Ewww, I totally spaced! Ok so I went to San Diego for the SuperBowl!! Yay! I forgot!

Ok Im officially done until tomorrow which will be my first 'regular' entry. I know I always come back and say Im gonna write but as you can see from my post above, I actually intend on doing that:)

Later!

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Lil' Kim- Magic Stick

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